


kotodama

by pitoumugis



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Found Family, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:48:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23870008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pitoumugis/pseuds/pitoumugis
Summary: There are four Dragon Warriors, no more, no less, until there are five.The fifth Dragon God, who turned his back on the Crimson Dragon, saw the new king approaching and sought to right old wrongs.He bestowed Her upon the world, and bestowed Han XiaLing a second chance at life.
Relationships: Original Character(s) & Shin-Ah (Akatsuki no Yona)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. rebirth

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to quarantine with pmugis where we revisit old fandoms bc hey remember how much AnY fucking SLAPS? anyway i figured it would be fun to revisit my old take on "oc is the fifth dragon warrior" with some new and improved lore, and then i couldnt get the idea of out of my head so i had to write it. no oc ships probably? just found family lads.
> 
> First part is in first person because uhh idk it just came out of my hands like that, but the rest of it should be in third. for poetic reasons or something.
> 
> my main focus is still wisteria au, i just had to get the ideas out of my brain or else i would die, but i do wanna continue this.

They say that death is unfair— 

It’s unpredictable, unchallengeable, it creeps up out of nowhere and claims it’s dues before you can stop it. And you’re left in its wake, picking up the pieces, trying to keep moving forward. It’s unfair, and painful. I understand that.

But, from this side, I can only think,

It is very sweet and gentle.

I am not cold, nor am I in any pain. I feel calm and whole, like I’m being cradled so gently in the arms of someone who loves me. I don’t remember my own passing, I think it’s a mercy; I was young and healthy, so it must have been traumatic. The space I am in is pure white, and every now and then, something light floats upwards like bubbles— It makes me feel like I’m underwater, and it’s beautiful in such a fascinating way.

I have regrets, I do, like any person dying from an unfair death. I haven’t called my mother in a while. I never apologized to my brother for spoiling that game he was playing. I didn’t get to graduate. I never returned Jia’s locket. A lot of regrets, a lot of small things that seem so insignificant, but feel so sad to leave unfulfilled.

But I make my peace with it, even if it’s bittersweet. They will live, one step at a time.

“ _ I, too, have regrets _ ,” a sweet voice whispers to me— Though it is so gentle, there’s power underneath it, and it draws me to look up into brilliant lavender eyes, pink scales covering a head larger than my whole body. Wispy white hair billows across it’s spine— ethereal, it’s ethereal.

A dragon, there is a dragon in front of me. “What do you regret?” I can’t help but ask.

The dragon closes its eyes and tilts its head down, as if ashamed. “ _ My regrets... I regret abandoning my elder brother, when he needed me most. I regret being so immature. _ ” He says. “ _ I thought that he had left me behind, but in truth, it was I who turned my back on him. _ ”

I feel my eyes soften, I understand his pain, I understand holding your younger self in contempt for mistakes only a child could make. I can’t help but reach out, placing my small hands on those pretty pink scales, reaching out to soothe the deity before me. “You were young,” I say. It’s not my place to ask, but I can’t help myself. “Do you think he hated you?”

He opens his eyes, just enough for the slivers of purple to peer down at me sorrowfully. “ _ No, _ ” he answers. “ _ No... He was far too kind, so full of love. Now, in my old age, I think he had already forgiven me. _ ” The dragon explains. “ _ But, if I could, I would want to tell him. Just that I am sorry. Just so it can be said. _ ”

There is nothing more I can say, but I lean in and press my forehead against his scales, if only to be a small comfort, a friend to shoulder this pain with him. I feel as if I am dreaming.

“ _ A new era dawns, Han XiaLing _ ,” He says softly, calling my name and urging me to raise my head. “ _ You are kind, and I see him in you. _ ” The dragon pulls his head back, and stares down at me, so small before him. “ _ Would you seek the Crimson Dragon, and give him my words, in my place? Would you love and protect him, when I cannot? I would give you my blood and give you flesh and bone, to live in that world by his side, if you would, _ ”

My still heart leaps, and my eyes water. “I... no longer have anything else. If I were to refuse, I would simply pass on,” I say, still craning my head upwards to look at the dragon. “I cannot say I would be entirely selfless to agree,” my hand raises to my chest, clenched into a fist in the fabric of my clothes, as my dead heart aches. “I.. want to live.”

“ _ I cannot fault you for being selfish, _ ” The dragon says, leaning down over a golden cup of red blood, that I didn’t see before. “ _ I am also asking to be selfish. _ ”

I smile, and take the goblet in my hands tearfully. “I would be more than happy to,” I say, and I mean it, truly, I would be happy, so very happy, to help a friend find closure.

I hold the goblet up to my lips, and tilt it back.

And my heart beats again.  
  


* * *

  
XiaLing awakens, only to get a mouthful of dirt as she becomes aware of where she is; wrapped in dirt and buried alive, her newly beating heart quickly speeds up as she begins to suffocate.

_ Ah, I’ve only come alive once more, just to suffocate and die again? _ Dirt falls in her eyes as she writhes and thrashes; she is so very weak but just barely, she is able to loosen the dirt. Will it be enough, she can’t tell, she can only struggle against the weight of the earth that attempts to crush her and swallow her whole.

Her hand breaches air, and her heart soars as her lungs scream for oxygen, and she has a moment to wonder if she won’t make it, before a hand grabs hers. Immediately, they begin to pull and dig her out, and she rises from the ground, coughing and sputtering out dirt. Her eyes sting from the dirt that fell into her eyes, dripping tears down her cheeks, and her limbs shake like leaves.

Gently, her savior pulls her out of the dirt and scoops her up as she tries and fails to rub her eyes. Even without the dirt in her eyes, everything is blurry and she can’t see a thing. Like a newborn kitten, she is weak and blind, still coughing and gasping for air as if it would be stolen from her again. XiaLing doesn’t know where they’re taking her, only that they are moving, and that wherever they are, it’s dark. Nonetheless, she’s not afraid. Her savior is gentle with her, like they’re holding an injured animal.

Eventually, she hears the sound of running water, and she’s let down to sit on cool stone. XiaLing reaches out blindly for the water, but her savior stops her and tilts her head upwards, and she jumps in surprise when cold water is poured on her face, into her eyes.

“Sorry,” the man says, his voice soft and awkward.

XiaLing shakes her head as he helps her wash the dirt away from her eyes enough for her to see, only a little bit— Her eyes are still adjusting, and it’s still very dark, but it’s enough that she can see a blue and white blur in front of her, and a vague outline of the stream they sit beside. It’s enough, so that she can reach out to wash the dirt off her bare body.

She would be embarrassed if they had the luxury to care.

When she’s satisfied, she turns her head to the man— Blue Dragon, she thinks, he’s the Blue Dragon. “... Thank you,” she says.

The man doesn’t reply immediately, but he tilts his head, and she notices the gently ringing of bells. “... You... what, are you...?”

It’s a fair question. He did just pull her body out of the ground. “... Like you, I think,” she answers, her voice the only thing she can use strongly right now.

“Pink Dragon,” he says. “Why are you, a pink dragon...?”

XiaLing dunks her head in the water to wash the dirt out of her hair, before sitting back up to wring out the water. Before, her hair had once been a dark, dark brown. But now, even with her weak eyes in the dark, she can tell it’s much, much lighter, though it still remains so curly and untamable. “Why are you a  _ blue dragon _ ?” She returns the question. “I was born this way,”

Her answer seems to stump him, or maybe he’s just a quiet person, because he takes another moment to speak. “You were born.. Here?” He asks, confused. “In our village?”

“Is that where we are? Then yes, just now,”

He makes a noise. “Just now?”

“Yes, just now,”

“From the— From the dirt?”

He sounds so confused, XiaLing can’t help but laugh. “Yes! Today is my birthday, isn’t that lovely? I’m XiaLing, the Pink Dragon,” she says. “We’re the same, Blue Dragon,”

He pauses. “The same..? But,” the Blue Dragon hesitates. “I’m cursed,” he admits.

XiaLing pauses and her nose wrinkles in thought. That’s... hm. “I don’t understand.” She says, frowning, but he doesn’t reply when she waits for an explanation, so she must continue with half the information. “... I’m sorry to hear that, then,” he must flinch, from the way the bells jerk and jingle.

“Are you afraid...?” He asks softly, like  _ he’s _ the one who’s afraid. She doesn’t like the sound.

So she smiles. “No, not at all,” and yes, she means it! “If anything, shouldn’t it be a cause for pity, not fear? A curse, you could say, is like an injury, isn’t it? Regardless, if you are cursed, Blue Dragon, then I must be too,” she offers him a smile. “Because we’re the same,”

“We’re the same?” The Blue Dragon repeats again, his voice lighting up just a little, like the thought was something new and precious. “...”

He seems occupied with the idea, leaving them in silence, and XiaLing can’t help but fidget— She’s never been good with the silence. “What’s your name?” She asks, and he jerks his head to her, clearly he’d been lost in thought. “I told you mine; XiaLing. What’s yours?”

“... The.. Blue Dragon,”

“That’s not your name, is it?”

The ringing of bells echoes. “... No... I don’t have one,” he finally says. “Just... the Blue Dragon...”

What a lonely place, XiaLing thinks. The information doesn’t paint a pretty picture. The nameless Blue Dragon, who believes his gift from the Blue Dragon God is a curse; what a lonely life he must have lived, what a lonely place he must have lived in. She reaches out blindly, and he catches her hands. “I see, then, I will give you a nickname,” she says. “It’s not a name, because that’s your right to choose, but if you will let me, for now I may call you Cheong, for the Blue Dragon,”

“Cheong...” He repeats quietly, his gentle hand tightening around hers.

“Is that alright?”

He’s quiet for a few moments, before she sees him nod, bells swaying. “... Yes,”

“Then, Cheong,” XingLing smiles, lifting his hands higher. “Will you be my friend?”  
  


* * *

  
XiaLing is strange, the Blue Dragon— now nicknamed Cheong— thinks to himself. He’d seen her struggling under the earth from afar, and his pulse raced as he ran to help her. Who could bury a girl alive like that? So there she was, bursting with life from the earth, covered from head to toe in mud, bare naked and laughing.

Pink Dragon, he thought. It was terrifying. He didn’t understand who or what this girl was, but her voice was so gentle and kind, it soothed him. They were the same, she says, because they’re both dragons. A curse is like an injury, she says, something to be taken care of. Not to be feared.

She doesn’t understand, he thinks, because she’s new, and strange. She doesn’t know the way the curse of the Blue Dragon has haunted their village for years upon years, the way they shun him and shout in fear. The way they beg him to spare their lives. It’s a curse. He’s a monster, he must be, or they would not be so afraid of him.

But XiaLing says it so confidently, like it’s only common sense, it makes him want to believe it, even if he can’t.

She asked to be his friend.

XiaLing had asked to be his friend.  
  
Maybe it’s normal, because they’re the same, for them to be friends. And one day, she will realize what it means to be cursed here, and she’ll run away. But, for now, he will never forget the strange girl with pink hair, laughing and smiling at him,  _ holding his hands _ , and asking to be his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XiaLing IS just kind of naked tho... tits out moment but I mean when you were just buried alive it is kind of like... not a priority. This is just the tip of the iceberg but I have SO many thoughts on XiaLing, her power, how she came to be-- Anybody here ever read scum villain's self saving system? That's my hint to why she was buried, something like that...
> 
> Shin-Ah is also a little hard to write, because he's so quiet... I hope I am writing him well. It's hard, because XiaLing is such a strange girl, I don't think i would know how to react to her either. She is very kind, though. I wrote her with something soft and gentle in mind. I guess I just like to write about happy things.
> 
> Trivia moment :)  
> Han XiaLing is Korean on her mother’s side and Chinese on her father’s. Her last name is used in both Chinese and Korean, and her first name is Chinese. 霞 (xiá) meaning "rosy clouds" and 铃 (líng) meaning "bell, chime"
> 
> Additionally, I’m not as familiar with Korean as Chinese or Japanese, so do correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe cheong is the Sino-Korean word for blue, meaning it’s a Korean word of Chinese origin. Sino-Korean words were widely used during the Three Kingdoms period, which might sound familiar, considering that's kinda how the world of AnY is based on IIRC? So I thought it was a good choice to use Cheong :)
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> EDIT  
> I ALMOST FORGOT but I have a little doodle I did of XiaLing!! Warning for nudity but it's not rlly bad, just her bursting out of the dirt, but [here are my concept sketches of her!](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/577325096377647115/704116278507601960/unknown.png)


	2. you have to start somewhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's surprisingly easy to settle into a new life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it's not too jarring or confusing to refer to Shin-Ah as Cheong for now lol
> 
> I suppose starting the chapter in first person is becoming a theme now

I have to wonder what kind of life Cheong had lived. Though the Pink Dragon God had briefed me on the legend of the Crimson Dragon and the four dragon warriors, I never would have imagined the current Blue Dragon lived such a life to believe his gift from God was a curse.

But even I know that the Blue Dragon God was unfair, because the Blue Dragon’s powers have the worst drawback. To be completely paralyzed like that...? I can’t imagine how scary it is. Is that why he thinks it's a curse? I can’t blame him for that.

In retrospect, perhaps I had underestimated the severity of the situation.  
  


* * *

  
Still vaguely coated in dirt, but now wrapped in a white fur pelt, XiaLing was carried through the dark by her new friend— She’d tried to stand, but her legs were still too weak. She’s not sure how long her body had been growing in the ground, but the lack of usage left her muscles terribly weak. When she was promised a new body, she didn’t think it would be made from scratch like this...

So, Cheong had scooped her up in his arms, promising to take her to the village, so she could be properly clothed and fed and, she didn’t miss the way he ducked his head, and she knew the underlying intent, so she could live a normal life away from him. Well, XiaLing would prove him wrong.

Bright lights suddenly fill her vision, and she winces, eyes stinging at the sudden exposure, and she can hear gasps echo around her.

“Blue Dragon... what...  _ is _ that...?” An elderly voice asks hesitantly after a few beats of silence. XiaLing cannot stand the sound of fear in his voice— And she’s not some  _ thing, _ thank you very much.

“XiaLing...” Cheong answers. “She was buried...” XiaLing raises her head and squints through the light, trying to focus her eyes on the voices.

“Buried...? Blue Dragon, do you mean,” the voice starts reluctantly, and hesitates again. XiaLing can vaguely see them glancing around nervously. “Do you mean to say you found her in the burial grounds...?”

The jingle of bells signals a nod, and a wave of gasps and whispers follow suit. XiaLing winces, was that where she was buried? Lord Pink Dragon, she would like to question your decisions, please. “Please don’t misunderstand, I’m a living being,” she says quickly, but the murmurs only rise.

_ “What kind of creature did he bring back...?” _

_ “An undead! It must be!” _

_ “Monsters flock together...” _

XiaLing feels his hands tighten around her, and she frowns. What cruel words— Did he really grow up in a place like this? She would like to know who the hell is in charge here.

“Lord Blue Dragon,” the elderly voice starts again, cracking with a bolder, more obvious fear. “We cannot allow....  _ Outsiders _ ... into our village.” He says. “She... cannot be human.. I beg you to consider the safety of our people, Lord Blue Dragon.”

“XiaLing is a friend,” Cheong counters, sounding more confident than she’d heard him thus far. “She... is not an enemy...”

“She’ll eat us!” A voice shouts, with agreements being voiced alongside it.

“How rude,” XiaLing comments. “I’ll have you know I don’t eat people,”

It doesn’t dissuade them. “Trickster...! She must be some kind of trickster spirit!”

“Blue Dragon... There is no way a human girl could have just  _ appeared _ in these caves with no one seeing her,” the elderly voice pleads, and  _ oh, that’s why it’s so dark in here? _ Is all XiaLing can think. “The burial grounds are too deep in... We don’t know what she is, but you mustn't trust her!” The immediate jump to  _ inhuman  _ makes a little bit more sense now.

Cheong swivels his body away, and suddenly XiaLing can’t see the blurry visage of the villagers. Was he shielding her? “She’s not... bad.” He insists, his voice losing composure as he holds her close, and she suddenly realizes that he’s shaking. “I...”

“Cheong,” she whispers soothingly. “It’s okay,”

She sees him shake his head. “No...”

Before XiaLing can say anything else, something small sails through the air and hits the side of Cheong’s head. She whips her head around to see where it had come from— One of the villagers, a younger looking boy, hiding behind presumably his father, with his arm still stretched out. He threw a rock at them.

“M-Monsters... Get out!! Get out!!” He cries, and his father pulls the boy away into his arms, curling around him protectively, like he was awaiting retribution.

“Sorry— I’m so sorry, Blue Dragon, he didn’t mean— Please s-spare him! Please!”

There’s silence. The villagers are staring at them with baited breath, like they’re just  _ waiting _ for Cheong to attack, to dole out punishment, to do  _ something _ to justify their fears. It’s disgusting.

“Lord Blue Dragon...” The elderly voice says. “I think it would be best if you returned home.”

Cheong didn’t need to be told twice. He swiveled around and took off down into the dark cave halls, XiaLing still cradled in his arms. With her eyes steadily clearing up, she could see the way he grit his teeth under the strange mask he wore.

“Cheong...” She whispers as the light fades, further and further they go into the caves. She didn’t know what to say. Don’t listen to them? It was hard not to. No, you didn’t even need to listen. You could  _ feel _ the fear, it was so palpable. How do you begin to address something like that?

Eventually, they came to a stop, and Cheong crouched down to set her on the floor as gentle as he could. He sat there for a moment, silently, perhaps criticising himself for a mistake that couldn’t be his fault. “Sorry,” he says eventually, only confirming her thoughts.

“Don’t be,” she says. “You did nothing wrong,”

He shakes his head. “No, I... I shouldn’t have...”

“ **You did nothing wrong** ,” XiaLing repeats, and Cheong freezes for a moment, before he suddenly relaxes, like all the tension had abruptly melted from his body. “It’s a strange situation, I know, but you were only doing what you thought ought to be done, and they reacted unreasonably,” she says. “People are often afraid of what they don’t understand.”

“I... I wasn’t wrong?” Cheong lifts his head a little, his voice rising hopefully.

XiaLing smiles and reaches out to pat his head. “You weren’t. Thank you, Cheong,” she says. “Thank you for trying to help me.”

“Oh,” is the only thing he can say, sitting still and awkward as she pats his head. Honestly, the more she learns about him, the more she wants to dote on him. “Is this... okay? Here? I can’t.. Take you anywhere else...”

“Here?”

He nods. “My room...”

XiaLing looks around. It was just... an empty cave. “You live like this?” She can’t help but ask, millennial instinct, but she quickly realizes how bad it sounds. “I mean, are you eating well? Do they make you stay here?” She turns back to him with a frown.

Cheong takes a moment. “... I stay here, because... I’m cursed...”

Ouch. “I understand, it would be hard to live with the other villagers, the way they act,” she says slowly. “But, to make you live like this, is very cruel, isn’t it? You deserve comfort and proper meals as well,”

Cheong doesn’t answer to that, perhaps he doesn’t know how to. Had anyone ever questioned what he considered normal?

XiaLing smiles instead— It’s a bit bittersweet, because she can’t stop thinking about what a terrible situation it is, but she wants to soothe him, if just a little. “Well, if we’re going to be living together from now on, please let me help out,” she says with a small laugh. “Be it getting food, or laundry, I don’t want to be deadweight to you,”  _ especially when you’re already struggling, it seems. _

“Together..?” He repeats, like it hadn’t quite set in that this is their situation now. “Ah.... Okay,” He’s certainly not a people person, huh? Well, it’s a good thing XiaLing is, then.

She pats the ground beside her, and he obediently moves to sit next to her. “Why don’t you tell me about what kind of chores you need to do usually?”

“... Ah, well...”

Quietly, he began to talk, slow and stopping to think now and then, but he told her, how he has to gather food, how he patrols the outskirts of the village for intruders, how he does laundry in a small stream inside the mountains— They really do leave him to fend on his own, it seems, leaving him to gather bugs and seeds and weeds and anything he can get his hands on to survive.

Well, XiaLing would like to make some changes around here.  
  


* * *

  
They fall into a steady routine as XiaLing slowly regains her strength, not an easy feat when they lack proper meals, but it’s steady going— The little squirrel that follows Cheong around keeps her company as he goes out, a cute little thing named Ao, and she in turn keeps  _ him _ company when he returns.

XiaLing won’t lie, it’s no easy feat to keep a conversation going with him. Cheong admits he himself doesn’t know how to talk to people, and it’s not as if there’s much to talk  _ about _ very often. Still, she does her best, as her voice is her only tool for now.

But she also learns to appreciate the comfortable silence as well, just relaxing by a friend’s side. Sometimes it’s nice, she finds. Not every silence needs to be filled. Sometimes, it just gives you time to think. More than anything, she wants to do something about the situation, but it’s hard to know what exactly  _ to _ do.

Contact with the villagers is unavoidable, though, and it’s not going to be easy, given the grand first impression she’d had on them. And... if she’s honest, she doesn’t want to make Cheong interact with them anymore than he has to. XiaLing is much more mentally resilient to their words, where Cheong grew up being told such awful things...

In good news, she  _ did _ eventually get some clothes— Old torn robes that XiaLing is fairly certain Cheong had to graverob to find for her, but once again, they don’t have the luxury to be concerned about such things. She wonders if he feels guilty for it, though.

Additionally, bit by bit, Cheong has been helping her walk around the cave they call a room— Some kind of physical therapy, she’s not sure if she’s doing it right, but she wants her strength back. She wants the strength to stand on her own.

Days turn into weeks before XiaLing is able to accompany her friend as he gathers their minimal dinners. There’s the occasional plant growing through the ground, and the roots that peek through the walls and ceilings are edible in that they don’t have much of a choice, but the bugs are the worst to catch.

“Hey, A-Cheong,” XiaLing calls as she digs her fingers into the dirt to dig out some roots. She hears him hum in response. “I want to talk to the villagers again,”

Silence.

“... Why...?” He eventually asks, his voice so quiet, like he’s reluctant to hear the answer.

XiaLing sits up with roots in her hand. “I want to do something about the situation. I want to make things better,” she looks at him. “I want to make things better for you. And for the future,”

She couldn’t imagine future Blue Dragons having to grow up in a life like this. It hurts to imagine such a small child being treated this way.

“How...” His voice wavers. “You can’t,” Cheong suddenly shakes his head. “Because...”

“Because you’re cursed?” XiaLing cuts him off. “Don’t you remember, a curse should be taken care of? I don’t think it’s fair to shun a child for being cursed. It’s like shunning a child for being disabled— The Blue Dragon is  _ born  _ this way, and they never had a say in that. That’s not your fault,” she frowns. “Are you happy to be treated this way?”

Cheong freezes up, looking at her, his mouth parted slightly. “No,” he says softly, shaking his head. “No...”

“Don’t you want to be happy? Don’t you deserve to be happy?” XiaLing asks. “Do you want the next Blue Dragon to live like this? Can you imagine a child living like this?”

“No!”

XiaLing nods as she sees the gears turning in his head, the way he starts to understand and question why things are the way they are. “Don’t you want to protect them?”

Cheong is quiet, thinking these words over— A terrible frown on his lips, and she wonders if he might cry, the way his lip is quivering. “But... But how can we...? They don’t listen... to me.”

XiaLing reaches out, and takes his hand. “It will be hard,” she says. “But, I think it’s possible. A-Cheong, do you know the saying, children are the future?”

Cheong shakes his head, and XiaLing smiles.

“I think that is our starting point,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its nearly 5am at this point i dont know if any of this makes sense HAHA i hope im not brushing things by so fast. The villagers are also hard to write because theyre so barebones im not sure where to go with them yknow? aside from "afraid of shin-ah. very quick to jump to the whole monster thing".. they dont really have any chill, huh? well, i do have plans for them though, but they gotta start somewhere huh


End file.
